JOHN FIERO
plays
available from
ARAN PRESS
1O36 S. Third St.
Louisville, KY 40203
MERLIN AND VIVIEN
by Forrest M. Byrd & John Fiero
Cast: 2 men and 1 woman. One act. Drama. Set: a motel room.
MERLIN AND VIVIEN takes place in a single evening in January of 1968, but is essentially a memory play that chronicles the love relationship of the titular characters. Interspersed with the dialogue of Vivien and her memory of Merlin, depicted as Merlin in the 1940's, is Merlin's poetry, presented by a reader who stands at a lectern to one side of the set. What unfolds is a bitter-sweet story of an impossible affair that lasted over thirty years. Vivien tries to come to grips with an abiding sense of guilt and rid herself of Merlin's memory. Merlin, we learn, has been killed in a highway accident just as she has reached a pinnacle of respectability in her humdrum marriage to another man. Book $3.00. Royalty - $15 - $10.
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MEMENTO MORI
by John W. Fiero
Cast: 5 men and 4 women (with doubling). Two act comedy. Sets: area staging. Designed for ensemble players, MEMENTO MORI brings together four of Fiero's most successful one-act plays related by their irreverent and hilarious view of the American way of death and its impact on our country's institutions and moresIn "Pawn's Gambit," a snobbish servant in an exclusive men's club plots the demise of one or both of two misogynistic millionaires (who have put him in their wills) by bringing a vivacious, sexy model into their inner sanctum. The crusty old gentlemen, however, don't play by the rules; the scheme backfires. In "Snuff Flick," a beleaguered director of a blockbuster movie talks an aspiring but squeamish starlet into doing a scene with the mortal remains of the leading man, who unfortunately died three days earlier in his dressing room toilet. IN "Lucky Bill," a woman who thinks her husband has died in air disaster begins to play what she will do with the insurance money. But lucky Bill missed the connection with the ill-fated plane. In "Body English," a series of mourners parade past the coffin of a philander, paying their last, outrageously disrespectful respects. Book $5.00. Royalty - $35 - $25 (all); $15 - $10 (individually).
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RED DOG QUARTET
by John W. Fiero
Cast: 3 men and 1 woman (with doubling). Drama. Two acts. One set: bar with alcove.
If you like The Twilight Zone, don't pass up these four one act plays by a Southern master. In "One Way Out," Flush's fate is to be thrown into, not out of, bars, where he must undergo an endless ritual of expiation for past sins. In "Mark of the Beast," a pickpocket and his drop lady find they have snatched a book from Death's summoner, then discover their names and their imminent deaths are listed in it. In "The Vigil," an interlude, two clown-like characters engage in an absurdist death watch over a corpse that is not quite dead. "There's No Upstairs at the Red Dog" borrows the Oedipal motif of unwitting incest, but the father is very much alive and turns out to be the one to bear the burden of recognition. RED DOG QUARTET was well-received when it premiered at Louisiana's Eavesdrop Theatre. Book $4.50. Royalty - $35-25.
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ONE HAND CLAPPING
by John W. Fiero
Cast: 3 men and 3 women (with doubling). Four one acts. Comedy. Sets: area staging.
A quartet of one-act plays for ensemble players held together by a theme: In each play, an irrepressible or whacky intruder plays laughable havoc with even the best of manmade plans. In "A Foolproof, Legal Whey," an earthy and persistent woman who raises goats invades a judge's chambers after he has had the temerity to rule that she must stop selling unpasteurized milk. Before she is through, the judge is convinced that she is part of a conspiracy to reduce him to idiocy. "Getting Rid of Horace," pits a smug, WASP suburbanite against neighbors he perceives as unwanted and unwelcome interlopers. While he spies on their activities and voices his venomous prejudice, his neighbors go expeditiously about their task of building an ark for the impending flood. In "Squatter's Rites," a victim of "smotherly" love refuses to be evicted by his landlady. "Manny's Full Count" is a strange tale of revenge of pigeons! Book $5.00. Royalty - $35 - $25 (all); $15 - $10 (individually).
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TWO IN THE BUSH
by John W. Fiero
Cast: 3 men and 2 women (with doubling). Two one-act. Comedy.Sets: two, minimal.
TWO IN THE BUSH includes "Dear Ms. Mandy" and "Hell Is A Thirty-Second Spot." Although the pieces are unrelated, they can be performed by an ensemble group on the same evening. "Dear Ms. Mandy" spoofs the facile advice given by syndicated columnists to those seeking help with personal problems. Ms. Mandy, totally unaware of the impact of her counsel, offers remedies to a variety of troubled souls, all with disastrous but comic results. Meanwhile, Ms. Mandy is having problems of her own with a two-legged, live-in pet named Moose. "Hell Is A Thirty-Second Spot" strands three good old boys and one good old girl in a perpetual summer day in nowhere, Texas, where they seem bound to an eternity of doing commercials for beer they are not allowed to drink. Book $3.50. Royalty $25 - $10 (together) $15 - $10 (separate).
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THE FAMILY JEWELS
by John Fiero
Cast: 6 men and 5 women. Comedy. Two acts. Set: Mexican cantina and a living room. Abrigail Farthingham and her grandson, Edward, are *in a comic struggle against her conniving nephews, Robert and Jeffery Farthingham. They want her property for a big land deal, but she is determined to hold on and reopen her rehabilitation center for former convicts. Using skills learned from former clients of Abigail's center, Edward steals the family jewels from his uncle's safe. He and Abigail then hock them to fund their "Track or Treat" service-a combination bookmaking and send-out-only bordello. Although Robert accidentally discovers this and threatens criminal charages, they turn it into a hilarious Mexcian stand off with counter threats, some help from Robert's wife, and revelations of Jeffery's aberrant behavior. Book $4.00. Royalty - $35-$25.