PLAYS OF ALEXANDER PANAS published by ARAN PRESS
ARTAUD LE MOMO
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 3 men and 1 woman. One act. Set: a room in an asylum.
Devotees of surrealism and the germinal theatre figure Antonin Artaud will
find this a fascinating drama. But it also has a universal appeal. Set in
the Asylum at Rodez, ARTAUD LE MOMO focuses on patient Artaud's relationship
with his doctor and nurse. In ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST the nurse
is the villain, but in Mr. Panas' play the nurse becomes an Earth Mother,
a healing Soreceress, redeeming Artaud from his misery. Violence and humor
conflict, as the images of the great poet's life float through his brain:
his old loves, his mother, the Theatre, the myths that echo like drums.
Poignant drama and a masterful presentation of character. The aging poet
Artaud lives and breathes in a very human way. Shocking, compelling, sensitive.
With language that coruscates through the darkness. A poet's eye in a poet's
world. Book $3.50. Royalty - $20 -- $10.
***
THE ASSASSIN
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 14 men and 4 women. Two acts. Drama. Set: area staging.
A hired assassin called "the Cobra," is waiting in a hotel room
to assassinate the President. As he reflects on his situation, a hideous
hallucination overtakes him. The Cobra begins to regress in time to the
period of the American Civil War, when he was another assassin, John Wilkes
Booth. In this ultimate dream play, the scenes, laced with vaudevillian
Civil War songs, are both historical and fantastical. The play moves through
Booth's career and climaxes in the inevitable moment when Booth walks into
the theatre box of Abraham Lincoln and points a derringer at his head. In
this final amazing episode, J.W. Booth decidesWell! You must see it to believe
it. THE ASSASSIN has been performed at SMU, The Washington Theatre
Club and on NYC Public Television. It is a dazzling tour de force, a challenge
for the accomplished director and acting company. Book $5.00. Royalty -
$35 - $25.
***
BAPU
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 19 men and 3 women (with doubling) Two acts. Biography. Set: a bare
stage. BAPU is the story of Mahatma Gandhi-from the time he returned
to India to work for Indian independence, until his martyred death at the
hands of N.V. Godse. Although sweeping in scope, BAPU allows for
simple staging and minimal scenery. And a host of fascinating characters:
Gandhi, himself, presented in a warm, personal and light-hearted manner;
his good friend, Rajkumar Shulka, a kind of Sancho Panza; the irrepressible
Nehru; Gandhi's wife Kastrubai. Even Winston Churchill steps on stage, along
with a bevy of English antagonists. And finally, the key figure in the conflict
with Gandhi, the Moslem leader, Mohammed Ali Jinnah, whose uncompromising
position eventually catapults into the fiery Hindu-Moslem conflict. Amidst
the incisive analysis of power politics. BAPU presents humor and
warmth where none might seem to exist. A moving and lyric poetry on a bare-bones
stage. Book. $5.00. Royalty - $30 -$20.
***
A BRA FULL OF STRAWBERRIES
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 4 men and 3 women. Three acts. Comedy. Set: a living room.
Alan Dupont, a ne'er-do-well, and his rich fiancee Estelle are in Paris
for a premarital vacation with Estelle's 250 lb. sixteen year old son, Peter.
One night Peter brings home an antique clock and a wife, Maria, who really
can't be his wife because she is married to Paprike. Alan gets caught in
the middle-trying to hide Maria, trying to please Paprike to get a loan,
and trying to keep Estelle from finding out anything. Paprike is an antique
expert and very interested in Peter's clock, and more than upset when he
finds his wife's brassiere in it. Paprike is set to kill someone-his own
brother, Peter, Alan, or even his wife. The confusions abound in A BRA
FULL OF STRAWBERRIES and the characters are straight out of Labiche,
Feydeau or G.S. Kaufman. The audience will drink themselves into buckets
of laughter and beg for more. Book $5.00. Royalty - $35 - $25.
***
BULLETS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 2 men and 2 women. Three acts. Set: table and two chairs.
Jim Mathias goes to the funeral of his best friend, who also happens to
be the cousin of his financee Janet, only to learn he has gone to the wrong
funeral. He meets the dead man's wife Veronica, who unravels a comedically
bizarre story about how her husband was killed by the Cajun Mafia (the show
is set in New Orleans). At first she believes our hero, Jim Mathias, is
part of the villainy. When she decides against that, she enlists his help,
much against his will, in fending off the real culprits. In this affair,
Jim Mathias almost gets himself killed, almost loses his fiancee and the
fortune her father is willing to bestow upon him, and finally falls in love
with Veronica. But naturally all works out in the end. Clever women will
always find a way to win their man. Book $4.00. Royalty - $35 -$20.
***
DRACULA 69
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 8 men and 3 women. Fourteen scenes. Comedy. Set: area staging.
This is not the same old, hashed-over Dracula story. Any resemblances is
purely coincidental. In this one Dracula is the romantic hero, and Van Helsing
is a mad scientific genius who wants to take over the planet. Van Helsing
is after Dracula to get some of that immortal blood flowing in his veins.
To do this, Van Helsing enlists the aid of FQ I, the code name of one of
his operatives. FQ I's mission is to seduce Dracula! Once FQ I is impregnated
by the Immortal, it'll be scientific child's play for Van Helsing to make
himself immortal. The characters are as good as a James Bond movie, and
DRACULA 69 is perfect for the director with a flair for intrigue,
comedy and stage pyrotechnics. Book $5.00. Royalty - $35 - $20.
***
THE FINAL ORDEAL OF JOHNNY BISMARK and THE NIGHT OF BENNY JACKSON
by Alexander Panas
Cast: "Bismark" - 1 man and 1 woman. "Jackson" - 1 man
and 1 woman. Sets: "Bismark" - a nightclub; "Jackson"
- a church.
Johnny Bismark, a Captain in the U.S. Army, and Dorajean Beaumont show up
at a nitespot in New Orleans called the Club Charlemagne. It looks at first
as if Dorajean is introducing Johnny to wicked ways-smoking, drinking, and
maybe something else. Then slowly, almost imperceptively, things begin changing:
Johnny may not be a captain in the Army, and he may not be too mentally
stable. Dorajean may be the real innocent. IN THE NIGHT OF BENNY JACKSON,
Benny comes to the church late one evening to see the priest. He finds the
cleaning woman, Mrs. O'Toole, not willing to awake the father, but willing
to listen to his sad tale. Benny and Mrs. O'Toole have had dealings in the
past, and Mrs. O'Toole would like to put things on a more permanent basis.
In tragedy and comedy, BISMARK and in JACKSON illuminate the
battle of the sexes. Book $3.50. Royalty - $25-$20 (together); $15 - $10
(separate).
***
THE GEEZER AND THE GAL and THE TRAIL OF THE SPHINX
by Alexander Panas
Cast: "Geezer" - 1 man and 1 woman; "Sphinx" - 3 men
and 1 woman.
Setting: "Geezer" - a raggedy room; "Sphinx". Two one
acts. Set: area staging, a garden and balcony.
A cold Christmas Eve. An aging prostitute and an old-bum have just met.
Each initially invents a story for the other, and each sees through the
other's fabrication. They argue, but wind up sharing a little wine, a little
cheese, and a lot of poverty. Neither falls into despondency. What they
do have is each other's warmth, which is more than many more affluent have.
THE GEEZER AND THE GAL is an unpretentious romantic comedy you will
never forget. THE TRAIL OF THE SPHINX is Panas' version of OEDIPUS
REX. The setting changes from ancient Thebes to a present day South American
garden. Oedipus has fled from Galveston, Texas, not Corinth, to escape the
full-fullment of the horrible prophecy. The Panas version of the ancient
myth has different emphases than Sophocles gave the story, and the ending
is different. Book $4.00. Royalty - $30-$20 (together); $15 - $10 (separately).
***
THE HOUSE OF KARAGIAN
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 14 men and 7 women. Three acts. Drama. Set: area staging.
Behind the posturings of world powers is the armaments manufacturers, and
the leading armaments manufacturer on the eve of World War I is Sir Basil
Karagian, a citizen of the world, born in Constantinople of Greek descent,
a citizen of France, manufacturing arms in England. He has just been assassinated,
and his 35 year old son, Nicholas, a frequent sanatorium patient, is now
head of the family and company. Sir Basil's daughter, Athena, has broken
off and started her own armaments company. It is believed by the British
and Greek governments that Sir Basil's murder had something to do with his
acquisition of a new weapon, the Z-600 gun. The Z-600 is reputedly so superior
a weapon it would insure victory to whichever side held it exclusively.
Who killed Sir Basil? What has happened to the plans for the Z-600? THE
HOUSE OF KARAGIAN is a detective story of international intrigue. Book
$5.00. Royalty - $50 - $25.
***
IN THE LAND OF THE PEACOCK and THE ASSESSOR
by Alexander Panas
Cast: "Peacock" - 3 men and 1 woman. "Assessor" - 2
men and 1 woman. Set: "Peacock" - a student's room; "Assessor"
- a living room.
Manuel, a student from a foreign land, is studying hard. He is the hope
of his people. He doesn't want to let them down. So he doesn't have time
for fun or even breaks, and certainly not for a blind date with a beautiful
girl that his friend Roger wants to introduce him to. Manuel stays at his
desk studying, and full of self-doubt. Until the beautiful girl comes to
his door, and wants to take him to "the land of the Peacock."
"Assessor"-The man watches his phone obsessively, waiting for
a call from his employers who will send him off to give a lecture somewhere
on his "experiences." Instead of an assignment today, an assessor
shows up to evaluate him and his wife. In separate ways, "Peacock"
and "The Assessor" present universal themes surrealistically.
Book $4.00. Royalty - $25-$10 (together); $15-$10 (separate).
***
INSPECTOR VASILI AND THE BIRD OF PARADISE CAPER
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 9 men and 3 women. Two acts. Farce. Set: a courtroom.
The most brilliant criminal detective of the New York City Police Department,
Inspector Antonio Vasili, is himself on trial for murdering an exotic dancer,
Tracey D'Ambois, better known as the Bird of Paradise. Vasili is, putting
it mildly, an eccentric, who solves his cases by the most unorthodox of
methods. His partner for five years testifies that Vasili, "never believed
in evidence as such." He would also talk to a murder victim, "it
was all part of his technique." In his last case, Vasili shot himself
in the arm. His most bizarre method, however, is using puppets to solve
crimes! Despite all the negative testimony on Vasili, the audience feels
that he is not guilty. Who then did murder the Bird of Paradise? There is
a surprising revelation on almost every other page of this mystery farce,
and the biggest surprise is who murdered the Bird of Paradise. Book $5.00.
Royalty - $50 - $25.
***
LET ME IN, I GOT MY OWN STRAITJACKET, EVERY BRIDGE HAS A SPLASH &
THE MAN IN THE PINSTRIPE SUIT
by Alexander Panas
Cast: variable. Three one act comedies. Set: area staging.
Waldo Katz appears in front of the Cartoola State Asylum with a straitjacket
and a good number of fine references that say he is a nut, a wildman, cuckoo,
etc. But he still finds it difficult to be admitted because of the tremendous
number of applicants. You could go crazy trying to figure out the significance
of this absurd comedy. In "Every Bridge Has A Splash" a man and
a woman meet on a bridge that has a history of suicide jumps. Neither of
them has lived a life conducive to staying on the bridge. In "The Man
in the Pinstripe Suit" Alphone Devron steals a huge sum of money and
impersonates a British nobleman to win a wife. Do clothes make the man?
Book $4.00. Royalty - $35 - $25 (all three); $15 - $10 (individually).
***
MURDER BY THE RULES
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 8 men and 4 women. Three acts. Comedy/suspense. Set: foyer of an inn/mortuary.
Edgar Allan Poe, master of the mystery story and originator of the detective
story, and the 19th Century's greatest actor, Junius Brutus Booth, have
a pact to meet each year at the equinox, and using whatever had occurred
to them during the year make of it a work of art, i.e. Poe will turn it
into a short story. This has been going on for ten years, when Booth shows
up at the agreed spot to find Poe apparently mad, and insisting that a young
lady's life is in danger. MURDER BY THE RULES, a comedy suspense,
re-creates an evening in which the two great talents join forces to solve
a murder. Performed at SMU, Stratford, CT, in Los Angeles and at several
other theatres around the country under the title THE LADY IN THE OBLONG
BOX. Book $5.00. Royalty - $35 - $20.
***
1313 HELL STREET
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 12 men and 4 women. Two acts. Poetic suspense. Sets: suggestive.
Lou Fazuki, a fast stepper with a bum leg, is trying to escape the draft
during World War II. He visits an old girlfriend in one of the apartments
on Hell Street, where he waits anxiously for his one true love, Lorelei,
and encounters the strangest group of people: a prostitute carrying on an
imaginary love affair with Albert Einstein become Clark Gable; Commodore
Lapratt, who keeps his beloved wife locked up while he makes love to her
sister; the Dragon, a demented fellow in long johns, who has fallen in love
with a plastic doll that he religiously fills every morning with hot water;
and the Four Horsemen, a vaudeville team reenacting scenes from World War
I. A brutal murder occurs, for which Fazuki is blamed. Everyone, seeking
a scapegoat for all their own "foible." finds the answer in Lou
Fazuki, Public Enemy Number One. In the Miami production the audience was
constantly on their feet, but then again, The Dragon was constantly under
their seats! Book $5.00. Royalty - $35 - $25.
***
THE PHALLIC PHOBIA
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 5 men and 5 women. Two acts. Comedy. Set: area staging.
Verne LaVance, disenchanted playwright and man of no means, wakes up one
morning to find the lingerie remains of a woman and a marriage license in
his bed. But no woman. Who is she? He has no idea. Apparently, he went to
a bar the previous evening and blacked out. What happened after that, he
cannot remember. Verne returns to the bar and discovers to whom he is married-one
Harriet Jethro, who, strangely enough, is running for Mayor of New York,
but even worse, is engaged to a millionaire Greek, Joe Bacon. Verne follows
them home, and as Harriet and Joe embrace, Verne enters with a pistol to
claim his wifeThis is just the beginning. A fine challenge for a director
interested in pure farce and for actors who can move a mile-a-minute. Book
$6.00. Royalty - $35 - $25.
***
PLAGUESHIP NINE DAYS OUT OF BARBADOS
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 5 men and 2 women. Two acts. Farce. Set: area staging.
Can an evening with the plague be fun? You may die laughing if it's NINE
DAYS OUT OF BARBADOS. The Mayor of an island seaport awakes from a terrible,
but vivid dream. He dreamt a red ship, thirteen cubits high was sailing
towards him. It was nine days out of Barbados; it was named the St Exupery,
and it was carrying the plague. His wife doesn't want to listen, and his
second-in-command, Lt. Herringbone, doesn't believe him, even though Herringbone
is, there to tell him that a ship, named the St. Exupery, is requesting
permission to dock. Everyone thinks the Mayor is crazy. Then Hermione arrives
by canoe from the St. Exupery to get someone to help her father, the captain,
who is sick. And the Imperialisimo arrives, and he wants the ship to dock.
It has valuable cargo for him. Voovoo Varetta, out to kill the Mayor, escapes
from prison, and complicates things further. PLAGUESHIP premiered
at Lincoln Center in NYC. Book $4.00. Royalty - $30 - $20.
***
THE RETURN OF NICK GEORGE
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 8 men and 3 women. 15 scenes. Set: fragmentary.
Everyone thought that Nick George, the cinema actor of a thousand faces,
was dead! It was rumored that he had committed suicide after an incredible
scandal. But suddenly the actor is returning for another big movie. Everyone
is excited and everyone is frightened. But why? Old skeletons creak out
of the closet as the play begins to unfold. Everyone is very nervousThey
know from the first day of shooting on the new film that Nick George is
back for revenge. He will exact his retribution and turn the tables on everyone.
A spoof on the incredible hogwash of power politics in Hollywood,
where egos fly like pigeons and are shot down just a rapidly. It is a show
for an ingenious director, that gives the actors a chance to tear into the
scenery. Book $5.00. Royalty - $30 - $20.
***
RUNNING 'GAINST THE RAIN
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 5 men and 2 women. Two acts. Drama. Set: a restaurant.
A suspenseful, brilliant recasting of the Electra and Orestes myth. On a
stormy night in a small town in North Carolina, a young man, Albert Graves,
gets off a bus and waits at the town bus station-a restaurant called The
Captain's Place. In a conversation with the Negro cook, Ernie, he learns
that the original Captain died mysteriously upon returning from World War
II, and his wife, Jo Pepper, a sexually passionate woman, has remarried.
When Ernie slips out back to get drunk, Albert meets Jo Pepper, who is attracted
to him. Albert explains that he came through the town because a friend of
his, Billy Hendrix, once lived here. Jo Pepper gets deeply upset when she
hears the name. Finally, Jo breaks down and tells him that Billy was her
son by her first marriage, and her second husband, Russell, made her put
the boy up for adoption. Next, Albert encounters Jo's daughter Lyla, who
recognizes him as Billy. She tells him that Jo and Russell killed their
father, and she wants him to help her revenge the crime. Book $4.50. Royalty
-$30 -$20.
***
S'AGAPO or OO LA LA, NANA
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 12 men and 5 women. Three acts. Set: area staging.
In years past, Nana, a singer, and Dimitri, a mandolinist, were lovers,
and they played their music at The Parthenon of Parthenons, a Greek restaurant
in downtown, NYC. The famous musical duo was the toast of the town and their
love, the nectar of the gods. But a lover's quarrel split both the couple
and the restaurant. As the play opens, the two separate restaurants-George's
Parthenon and John's Parthenon-have fallen on difficult times, but each
thinks the other is doing well. Nana and Dimitri have long since gone their
separate ways. But they are called back, each by one of the restaurants,
to assist with an emergency-the daughter of one group has fallen in love
with the son of the other group. S'AGAPO is a romantic comedy filled
with Chekovian characters, teenage love, old love, and still older love,
and laugh-wrenching conflicts. It is an excellent show for character actors.
Sweet love and honeyed laughs. Book $5.00. Royalty - $30 - $20.
***
TRAIN TO BENGALI
by Alexander Panas
Cast: 5 men and 1 woman. Three acts. Mystery. Set: area staging.
Inspector Vasili is back! yes, the famed Antonios Vasili of THE BIRD
OF PARADISE CAPER. Having retired from the NYPD, and on his way to New
Orleans to get married, Vasili is forced to investigate the case of the
disappearing parents of Michelle LeRue. Is the young and tempting Michelle
LaRue, herself, responsible for their disappearance? Or might it be her
AC/DC boyfriend, Fritz? What could be the motive? Have the parents been
kidnapped by Nazis?! In New York? Vasili is up against his most baffling
case, and even worse, the enigmatic and sensual Michelle sucks him into
her web. And what does Bengali have to do with it? Intrigue, romance and
fireworks, as Vasili moves relentlessly into the unknown. The sweet aroma
of motion pictures like The Maltese Falcon and Casablanca invade
the script, along with Mr. Panas' own sense of ironic humor. A gripping
melodrama with comic innuendo. Inspector Vasili is one of the most fascinating
detectives of the modern stage: a combination of Sherlock Holmes, Sam Spade
and Philip Marlowe, with a dash of the ancient and the occult. Book $5.00.
Royalty - $35 - $25.
***
THE WORLD'S SECOND GREATEST LOVER & SINGAPORE SLING
by Alexander Panas
Cast: "Lover" - 4 men and 2 women; "Sling" - 1 man and
1 woman Sets: "Lover" - area staging; "Sling" - an airport.
In THE WORLD'S SECOND GREATEST LOVER the silver screen's greatest
lover collapses, and tells the film industry, "Get my brother Guiseppe
to replace me, the world's second greatest lover." Immediately the
Hollywood bunch is on its way to Sicily for Tortoni's brother Guiseppe.
But what a shock when they find him! He is a hideous hunchback studying
for the priesthood! But the celluloid boys are all magic, and finally...finally...!
The play is based loosely on a true story. In SINGAPORE SLING a flight
destined for L.A. is hijacked to Singapore on Christmas Eve, and the stage
is set for romance. All the passengers are getting plugged at the local
bar, and the only two people at the terminal are Gerald and Suzie. The story
of two budding neurotics who attempt to solve their problems in each other's
arms. Book $3.00. Royalty - $25 - $15 (together); $15 - $10 (single).